Prints Not-so-Charming

Shrug indeed

Patterns are always fun and popular for spring and summer, but mixing four — dotted headband, Liberty dress, croco bag and crochet shrug — is way too much. Take it easy!

When in Doubt, Go Classic

Black and white–how is it that this always-right combo never gets boring? Safe but far from sorry, this look is polished, pulled together and even looks comfortable. No small feat when it’s muggy and sweltering above ground! Brava.

Must-have: metallic sandals

What used to be disco is new again: silver and gold sandals are everywhere, and they look fabulous. From flat to platform, shimmery footwear appear to be the rage.

gold sandals

silver sandals

These boots are made for…

What is with these slouchy boots, and why are they deemed appropriate with a short skirt?

Amateur Hour on the Slutty Express

Here’s evidence of the true danger of Sex and the City’s raging popularity: girls who can’t tell their Choos from their Chalayans think that because they’re in New York City, it’s okay to dress like a cheap dimestore hooker. Newsflash: the reason these women can get away with dressing the way they do is twofold; a) they’re on TV and b) they’re wearing the good stuff. Even the bad, eighties-era fashions Carrie mocks in the new feature film are designer originals that could earn her enough on ebay to buy a bigger apartment. Next time, skip the spray tan, skip the short shorts and pay more attention.

Cowgirls Gimme the Blues

 

Okay, so even if I’m willing to admit that my pathological aversion to plaid is probably due to years of Catholic school torture, I cannot sanction a plaid cowgirl hat. Ugly much?

Adding insult to fashion injury: an athletic tee, windbreaker and slatternly camo pants. Clearly, this look is all about expressing the wearer’s love of pattern — that, and making other subway riders want to vom in her purse.

 

Next Stop, Fabulous

Finally, a look to get excited about! This outfit takes risks, but somehow it all works: the boots, the scarf, even the oversized bag and contrasting colors add up to casual chic… how to take it even farther? I’d add some spunky accessories, like one of these sweet Morocco Wood Rings from Free People:

http://www.freepeople.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/products.detail/productID/05985fdf-3dd3-4628-a3cc-a7a75d355e77/categoryID/f1a545c6-1738-413a-bf71-efbf0b0b2f45

or, I might give her metallic leather bag a summery upgrade courtesy of shopbop:

 

http://www.shopbop.com/barcelona-sun-splashed-bag-seaton/vp/v=1/845524441820339.htm?folderID=2534374302024667&fm=browse-category-viewall

 

and, maybe since it’s so swelteringly hot this week, I’d swap her boots for these kicky mules from sugar:

 

http://www.karmaloop.com/products.asp?ProductID=31818&VendorCode=SUG

 

 

The Opposite of Chic

This outfit makes me yearn for the days when dresses were called “shifts” — not. Shapeless and mismatched pieces that appear to be leftovers from an older brother’s college days do not a casual wardrobe make… In case anyone is wondering, this photo is of a woman of the female gender, not that you’d know it from her outfit.

Although this person is above average height, she’s making herself appear shorter and dumpier with layers of loose, ill-fitting clothing that cut her figure up and (her image way down). Tips:

1. Lose the ankle socks — either under pants that cover the top of your shoes or altogether

2. Try something fitted (or something that just fits)

3. Consolidate your stuff so you only need one oversized bag — two is too much

4. Play up your natural height by choosing a shorter top over the long skirt or pants

5. Try wearing shades of one color — you’ll seem not only taller but slimmer, too

Good luck with the finals.

1 Moment of Indecision = Hours of Fashion Agony

This look would rock — if combining myriad fashion don’ts in one ensemble constituted a do. Too bad she can’t decide whether she’s fabulously earnest or a rebel with a cause:

1. Frumpy hat + sequin flower are going in opposite directions

2. Red + green only works for elves

3. Fanny pack. Nuff said.

4. Six or more embellishments pointing to six different political causes,/enthusiasms: Native American pendant, two or three Africa pins, a pin declaiming simply “DISSENT”, plus a green apple (maybe she likes fruit?)… random, anyone?

5. Plastic croc shoes (shudder)

Conclusion: One moment of sartorial indecisiveness can lead to hours of fashion agony — not just for the wearer. Lose the flower on the hat, load on more pins relating to a single cause, trade the red top and stretch pants for camo and trade the crocs for Doc Martens. Better to be a cliche than a mess.